My gallery is set up and I can let it be for three weeks. I am feeling very odd about my time in virtual reality right now. I’ve been very much reminded of how different I am from others instead of what I might have in common with them.

I have things in good perspective though. Maybe because the anniversary of my biological agent’s mother being laid in the ground has just passed and she’s feeling resilient enough. ( My bio agent, not her dead mother.)

We’ve heard one of the saddest things anyone has ever told us in virtual reality.


Neeva Torok is shown rezzing mesh objects she’s made. ( This isn’t the sad part.) She sent me a photo of the detailed textures around the edges which my viewer doesn’t pick up at all. She’d asked me what I saw. My experience is still worth while or I wouldn’t be here.

Anyway, the sad thing: In conversation someone mentioned that they can’t say, “I made something; do you want to see it?” They said that it’s a conversation killer. People tune out. Yes; I’ve found that to be true as well. I have felt like a pest talking about things I make.

Just today there was a machinima meeting at Cafe Society. There were only four of us and when I realized that others wanted to talk about tech aspects I shut up. I’ll just make my machinima, take my photos with what I have.


I really like this place that antsue has set up and I like the way I look in it.

Anyway, I am not going to give the sadness about the people not being interested in what others make. a welcome home in my being. I’m retiring from that sort of clean up work. I shut the window on it; it can find a home elsewhere.

I have been mildly surprised that people are still more interested in shopping and changing their looks and really distracted when I speak of creating. I’m letting that go too. They can have their virtual reality and be on whatever page they want to be on.


I bought a typewriter for my old [noctis] desk I used in Legacies 1891 roleplay. It is too primmy to have in my home. Art Oluja changed her mini installation to fit the new building. I love the way it looks and I love the view of the water through the old windows.

Some of this started when I found myself profoundly moved by Tutsy Navarathna’s machinima entry in the UWA Pursue Impossible challenge. It’s called Death of Death? It touches upon a subject I feel passionate about and I find the film disturbing.

Without getting too deep into it, I’m not choosing the evolutionary path to living in artificial intelligence machine world. I would rather live free for 80 years than be enslaved for 2000. Just who gets the benefits of this so-called amazing robotic future? The one percent? This is to be trusted in a world where people don’t have equal access to clean water, where corporations patent seeds and control our food supply?

People like to complain about the narcissists in their life. How much empathy do they think these controlling reptillian bits of consciousness are going to have? And these things are going to work smoothly?

My typist lives in a first world country. She has electricity, electronics and can pay her communications provider. Is she satisfied with the quality? Hell no. She can barely run Second Life sometimes. There are crashes, lagging and all sorts of issues. On such a planet of destruction and inequality, why the hell are people excited and trusting about becoming dependent and giving their power and sovereignty away?


RMarie Beedit, who has been very busy with first life managed to make a wonderful glitch and upload it on a prim into SL. I am truly interested in creative process. I guess that makes me a weirdo?

Anyway, we get to choose. I know how to ride threads of consciousness. I am getting better at jumping timelines. There isn’t just one future; there are many future realities. I pay attention and make choices. And my choices seem to be way different than the ones of those around me. Many people don’t seem to be aware of what is even going on. They seem fine with being consumers, followers and being in a hive mind.

I can’t say these things to anyone. Here’s the different ways that can go: 1. I’m totally ignored. 2. The subject gets changed. 3. I’m mocked or ridiculed. 4. The other person is oppositional or argumentative. 5. In the unlikely event that they think what I say makes sense and is worthy, they appropriate it as their “own”.


I love the look of my new gallery space.

Anyway, I can live with those things. I’ve had plenty of practice. And so once again, at the forks in the road, I go off into the wild.

I’ll be creative. I won’t expect people to care. I’ll stop explaining. Or try to….that is a difficult one for me.

People really do seem to forget that there is a human behind these avatars. They interact as though they are interacting with data, as though they are browsing online and in their multi-tasking they are inattentive and distracted.

I can make choices about how I live with that.


Elle Thorkveld has her space with generative art this time.

One of the things I learned at the Cafe Society meeting is that the TOS states that we need permission to film machinima on people’s land. Except for LEA sims. But you can’t rez on LEA sims.

So I think I will make the most of being able to rez and film at ant farm. And I can collect clips and then make something with them. Even without the tech parts being so great. I’ll care less about sharing them; they’ll simply be available.



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